DIAGNOSTIC TEST FOR COMPUTER PHOBIA
Do you suffer from Computer phobia? Please fill out the following questionnaire to find out. Circle Y (for "yes") if you agree with the statement and circle N (for "no") if you disagree.


1. I am suffering from culture shock in my own culture, since my familiar world is getting stranger and stranger. Y N

2. I resent opening my eyes first thing in the morning not to the welcoming face of my familiar two-handed clock which maps the day and informs me that it is yet still young but to a digital clock which announces abruptly and shrilly that it is 07:32. Y N

3. I object to the strange squiggles on the side of the Kellogg's corn flakes box, which I can't read, and the mini-micro computer inside, which I can't use. Y N

4. Some of my colleagues, cocktail correspondents, and even my children are talking an incomprehensible language, in which bytes, nybbles and gulps have nothing to do with eating and drinking. Y N

5. My boss is hinting darkly that the cost of computing is coming down, the cost of labour is going up, and that soon the two curves will cross. Y N

6. My wife has just read in Ms. Magazine that she can replace me with some electronic gadget costing $50.00 (fifty dollars). Y N

7. I'm apprehensive when I read about Fifth Generation computers, which make 100,000 decisions a second, while I take five minutes to decide whether to have my eggs fried or scrambled. Y N

8. I'm tired of pompous statements about the "emerging information society" and gee-whiz statements about "the incredible shrinking chip". Y N

9. I'll puke the next time I hear that chips (once again inedible) are getting smaller and smaller, faster and faster, cheaper and cheaper, smarter and smarter, and if transportation technology had progressed at the same rate, I could buy a Cadillac for $2.95, which I could drive twice around the world on a gallon of gas, and park in a matchbox. Y N

10. I'll strangle the next person who tells me that the new information machines are amplifying the power of the mind as the bicycle amplified the power of the legs and the shovel amplified the power of the arms - only we are not longer talking about bicycles and shovels, but jets and bulldozers; an eight-year old child has, in his/her home computer, the power available only to giant corporations for millions of dollars ten years ago; or any variations of this statement. Y N

11. I'm suffering from acronym shock - as I encounter RAM and ROMs, VDTs and CRTs, DOSs and DATs. It's like swimming in a sea of alphabet soup. Y N

12. I think they (who ever they are) are making better and better mousetraps and selling them to the mice. It is time to squeak up. Y N

13. I get a nervous "tique" every time I hear words like "bureautique", "privatique", "telematique". The only scenario I am interested in is the "pique" scenario, in which people say "enough" to technology. Y N

14. I'm afraid to jump on the "information society" bandwagon but I'm afraid not to jump on it, since my competitors who do so will have a tremendous advantage. Y N

15. I hear that the Third Wave is coming and that I will be wiped out if I do not "hang ten" on a circuit board. Y N

16. I'm told that my home will become a "womb with a view", as my contact with the outside world will become increasingly mediated by new information machines. I don't want to live there, even if it is a womb for two with a magnificent view. Y N

17. Video display terminals cause eyestrain, headaches, dizzy spells, blackouts, nausea, cataracts, facial rash, neck and back pain, anxiety, stress, depression, "burnout", loss of productivity, fatigue, irritability, cardiovascular problems, neurological changes, - and hair to grow on your palms. Y N

18. The balance of nature, in which the arrogance of youth is countered by the arrogance of experience, is being upset, as both arrogances shift to one side of the balance. It is not my side. Y N

19. I think I'll go off the Rhodesia to join the middle managers who are selling slide-rules and buggy-whips. Y N

20. "1984" is here on schedule. So is the "global village". The computer is the village gossip, who will tell Big Brother everything he (she?) wants to know about me. I'd leave the village but, as yet, there is no place to go. Y N


Count the number of Ys you have circled in the test. If your score is more than 10, you may suffer from "Computer phobia".


Now for the good news. You needn't worry. It's not a terminal disease. Actually, it is a fear-of-terminal disease. Now for the very good news. It is curable. Needless to say, at least part of the cure involves continuing to read this book.