A second shift in our concept of ourselves is the growing realisation that the self is an invention rather than a discovery. There is not a self (or even a set of selves) out there waiting to be discovered by us. David Denby in his exploration of the Great Books, argues that the function of great literature is to enable us to become ourselves rather than to be ourselves [DENBY]. It is an on-going, lifelong iterative process.
Sherry Turkle, a modern Socrates, encourages us to Know Thyselves (because there are many selves) or rather to Grow Thyselves (because the self is an invention rather than a discovery). She advocates that we use avatars in virtual worlds as a tool to grow ourselves. In two brilliant books, she pursues this theme [TURKLE 84, 96]. She argues that cyberspace is a wonderful environment for growing yourselves. You can experiment in various social environments without getting hurt. In the relative anonymity of the Internet, you can present your real self without threat, just as you can tell a stranger on a train things you can not tell your friends and relatives. You can practice safe self as well as safe sex. You can assign yourself various roles in your home movies - even being a different sex or a different race. This is a wonderful exercise in empathy and a potential means of increasing tolerance. As the North American Indians say "never criticise people until you have walked a mile in their mocassins".
In growing yourselves, whether in the real world or in various virtual worlds, it is important to remember the distinction between contractual and intimate relationships. People are interchangeable in contractual relationships. Your relationship with your grocer, for instance, is usually contractual. It does not really matter to you that this particular person sells you food and to him that this particular customer buys it. You take this food home and cook it for your mate. Your relationship to your mate would appear to be qualitatively different from your relationship to your grocer. Neither of you are interchangeable. It is important to you that you cook the food for this particular person and to him/her that it is you who is doing so.
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